


This is So Wrong

by kaitlia777



Series: Girl!Ryan AU [1]
Category: Castle
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Crack, F/M, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-06-05
Updated: 2011-06-05
Packaged: 2017-10-20 03:37:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/208345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaitlia777/pseuds/kaitlia777
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the Castle Kink Meme request for: "Ryan/Esposito, Genderswap- Either or Both"</p>
            </blockquote>





	This is So Wrong

It had begun, like so many other cases, with a dead junkie in an alley and way too many potential causes of death. Things got a bit more interesting when Lanie Parish informed them that their vic had OD’d on some unknown and extremely potent drug. Add to that the fact that their vic wasn’t your typical dead-in-an-ally type (in fact, he was a well liked and respected surgeon). An affluent person like that probably wasn’t scoring a hit on a street corner, so the pool of dealers got a lot smaller, which was always nice.

Some stellar investigative work and judicious questioning led them to one Elmer (Yeah, Castle had a field day when he found out their skel was actually named Elmer) Green, a chemist whom had decided the designer drug business was far more lucrative (for him personally) than developing a cure for cancer.

Elmer’s lab and apartment were in two separate buildings, which was nice because a take down surrounded by crazy ass mad scientist crap was always sketchy. Letting the suited up hazmat guys take the lab, Detective Javier Esposito and his partner Kevin Ryan accompanied Detective Kate Beckett and her constant shadow Rick Castle to Elmer’s home.

Ryan had been first into the room and thus was the recipient of a face full of some weird, strangely neon yellow liquid. Blinded, he stumbled off to the side, allowing Beckett and Esposito to pursue Elmer. Esposito gave his partner a worried glance but knew Ryan would want them to take Elmer down, maybe give him an extra hard bounce off the floor for good measure.

As they ducked out of the room after their rabbitting dealer, Esposito caught a glimpse of Castle moving towards Ryan. Though not a cop, the writer was a good guy to have around and Javier knew his partner would be in good hands.

Elmer, as it turned out, was an annoyingly fast little bastard that led them on a chase through the seemingly endless warren of halls and rooms in his obscenely large building (an old warehouse, still undergoing renovations into more apartments). The various pieces of scaffolding, plastic sheeting and random boxes did not help.

Finally, Elmer was on the ground, wheezing and trying to complain as Beckett pressed a knee into his back and Esposito himself was perhaps a touch rough with the cuffs.

They hauled the cursing dirt bag to his feet just as Castle’s voice (panicky and disquietingly hysterical) echoed through the building.

“BECKETT!! ESPOSITO!! NOW!!”

It wasn’t the clearest message, but the tone and the shriek that followed it, a shriek that would have put the whore hounds of hell to shame, certainly was.

Something was very, very wrong.

* * *

When Ryan got a face full of chemicals, courtesy of Elmer (and wasn’t that just a foolish name for a drug dealer? Any self respecting dealer would have a much cooler, scarier name, like Gat or Ice Pick ), Beckett and Esposito had done their duty and taken off after the man, leaving Castle to check on Ryan. Honestly, he thought he got the better end of that deal because the oozing gunk dripping down the younger man’s face was nasty and Rick didn’t want to be on the receiving end of a neon slime facial.

“This is nasty,” Ryan sputtered, trying to wipe his eyes clean and spit the sludge from his mouth.

“Did you swallow that?!” Rick asked, both alarmed and disgusted. “Spit it out! Spit it out!”

“I’m trying,” Ryan began then suddenly went very still.

That was not good, but Castle preferred it to what happened next. Snapping back into motion, Ryan doubled over, dropping to the floor and convulsing.

“Damn it!” Rick exclaimed, dropping to his knees beside Ryan and trying to keep the flailing detective from hurting himself. When the seizure subsided, he pulled out his cell phone but didn’t get beyond the 9 in 911 before he froze, staring in horrified, morbid fascination that left him wondering if he himself was having some sort of stroke.

Rick blinked and shook his head, but no, Ryan still appeared to be…he supposed morphing was the word. Skin shifting, features blurring…and oh god, he could feel Ryan’s ribcage shifting against his knee! No way could this be happening. Nope. Not possible…but happening.

Only a few seconds after this new, mind and body warping insanity entered the world, it exited but left in its wake some truly terrifying evidence.

Where Kevin Ryan had fallen to the floor, a slight brunette with startling blue eyes lay gasping up at him. Her…his…her… Long hair lay in a tangled, goopy pool beneath her (Rick was going with her for the moment because that was what his eyes saw and it was all very confusing, so the simple answer was grabbed) head and some weird part of his brain wondered where all that hair had come from.

How many laws of nature had just been violated and tossed out the window, right before his eyes?

Then he silently laughed to himself, knowing he was focusing on some small, irrelevant oddity in order to keep his brain intact, cause this was the sort of thing that broke minds.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” Ryan asked, then delicate brows knit. “What’s wrong with my voice?”

Waggling a finger to indicate Ryan should be more concerned about what was going on below the neck, Rick found his voice and bellowed, “BECKETT!! ESPOSITO!! NOW!!”

For once, words were failing him but Rick knew the other two detectives would respond to his call.

Failing that, they’d definitly come running when they heard the God awful shriek coming from Ryan’s lungs after discovering certain physical differences. Rick was surprised such a small person could make such a big noise. Then again, babies could be exceptionally loud.

Rick hoped they hurried. It really wasn’t fair to make him deal with what was essentially a crack! gender swap fanfic made real without any back up. That way could only lead to madness…or a bad foray into the fantasy genre.

* * *

Dragging a pissed off Elmer between them, Beckett and Esposito ran back to the apartment, following the echoing screams and Castle’s loud reassurances. By the time they staggered back into the room, the ear splitting shrieks had calmed to an occasional shout and Castle was making inarticulate soothing noises while patting the air.

That would have been funny, except for the fact that Ryan seemed to be missing. Instead of the detective, Castle was hovering over a slime covered, delicate, little brunette…who seemed to be wearing Ryan’s jacket and ugly green shirt. Weird, Javier thought, then heard Beckett suck in a breath beside him.

The girl on the floor had turned her gaze to them. Startlingly pretty blue eyes peered up at them from a face covered by drying yellow goop, brown tresses sticking to the substance. She opened her mouth and pleaded, “Tell me this isn’t happening.”

But Javier could only gape. He’d never seen eyes like that on anyone but his partner. His very male partner….

Castle finally stopped patting the air and jabbed a finger in Elmer’s direction. “You! What the hell did you throw on him…her…him?!”

“Holy shit!” Elmer yelped in reply, staring at the young woman who was struggling into a sitting position. “You’re a guy? It worked!”

“Yes,” she -- were they actually thinking this girl was Ryan? When did his life become a bad sci-fi movie?-- grumbled, then demanded, “Fix this!”

To shocked to even obfuscate, Elmer babbled, “I was trying for that result, but when you all showed up I just tossed some random chemicals at you.” He indicated the smashed vials and beakers. “I don’t know what hit you or in what combination…I couldn’t even begin to try to reverse this without careful analysis.”

Ryan (never the biggest guy, but now a tiny little thing) glared at Elmer. “So there’s really no reason I shouldn’t kill you?”

Elmer paled and shrunk back between Esposito and Beckett, hoping they’d protect him from Ryan, whose face was visibly flushing under the yellow slime and her itty bitty fists were clenched in rage.

Javier snorted. He couldn’t help it. The situation was too fucking surreal. And, while Ryan was always hot, this version was like some tiny, messy doll.

“I know, right?” Castle said a bit desperately, obviously glad someone else appreciated the sheer lunacy of the situation.

Ryan however did not see the humor. Those eyes snapped over to Esposito and the expression on her face was bone chilling as she stabbed a finger at him. “Not funny, man. Not funny.”

Beckett, who had been oddly quiet, finally spoke, “This is not possible.”

“Tell that to my new friends,” Ryan grumbled, turning her finger around and prodding her chest. “This is so wrong.”

“I got it!” Castle exclaimed, tearing his eyes(and everyone else’s away from what Ryan was doing) and pointing at Elmer. “The chemicals you tossed around are causing a mass hallucination!”

Javier exchanged a doubtful glance with Beckett, knowing Castle was grasping at straws, but they were willing to go along with it. That idea seemed far saner and Ryan clearly found it the preferable story.

“YES! Yes, let’s go with that!” Ryan said, “Call the Paramedics and I’ll wake up in the hospital and everything will be back to normal.”

That sounded good, but Javier seriously doubted that was going to happen. Then again, if you’d asked him a half hour ago if his partner would suddenly become a woman, he’d have said that couldn’t happen too.

* * *

Less than half an hour after receiving an odd, confused phone call from Beckett, Captain Roy Montgomery strode into the Emergency room of St. Vincent’s Hospital. A group of dazed looking uniforms were guarding a room where their drug dealer/murderer was being held while tests were run, but Montgomery was more concerned with his own people.

He spotted Beckett, Esposito and Castle in a huddle outside one of the other treatment rooms. Montgomery didn’t like their shell shocked expressions, but they didn’t seem to be covered in blood, though Castle was wearing scrub pants with his shirt, jeans and jacket missing.

Approaching, he asked, “What is going on here? Where’s Ryan? Was he hurt? Clear answers people.”

Usually the direct approach worked, but this was one of the unusual times.

Esposito paled. Castle opened his mouth to speak, then closed it as though unable to find the words, which was scary in itself. It was Beckett who rallied enough to say, “Not exactly sir, but he was exposed to some chemicals and….”

It seemed getting that much out depleted whatever reserves she had found to tap and Beckett’s voice trailed off with a weak wave toward the treatment room.

Chemical exposure did not sound good and before Montgomery could ask anything else, Beckett’s phone rang, giving her something to focus on.

“Beckett,” she said quickly, then paused to listen, making a few noises occasionally. “Okay. Thanks.”

She hung up and said, “The prints match.”

“I told you! It happened right in front of me, like something out of a comic book!” Castle babbled enthusiastically. “One minute I’m looking at Ryan and the next BAM! Cute girl.”

“I don’t think Ryan would appreciate you calling him a cute girl, Castle,” Beckett muttered but it was without anger.

“Neither does my brain,” Esposito said, voice obviously strained.

“Well, your brain better get used to it, since creepy Elmer thinks it’s gonna take a while for him to figure out exactly what caused….” Castle said, but was interrupted by Montgomery.

“Stop!” Montgomery barked, feeling the beginnings of a headache creeping up on him. “One of you, explain what happened. Clearly. In full sentences.”

He could see Beckett and Esposito trying to organize their thoughts, but Castle, who made his living because he had a way with words and storytelling, beat them to the punch.

“Creepy Elmer over there doused Ryan with a whole bunch of chemicals, trying to give himself a chance to get away. Nasty stuff, all yellow and oozy, like some sort of demonic puss…Anyhow, these two,” he paused to indicate Beckett and Esposito, who nodded, agreeing with Castle’s telling of events, “chased Elmer and I stayed with Ryan who was trying to wipe off the slime. It got in his mouth, too.”

“One minute he was fine, the next he was on the ground having a seizure. I tried to brace him and when it ended I was about to call an ambulance when…It looked like his features were shifting, skin rippling, bones shifting. He actually got smaller and his hair grew out and somewhere a physicist is weeping in a corner, somehow knowing the laws of the universe have been violated lake that….”

“Focus, Castle,” Beckett muttered from his elbow, causing Castle to veer back to the story at hand.

“Right. So, I’m watching this and then it’s over and instead of looking down at Ryan…well, I guess I was still looking at Ryan, but he is now a she. There was screaming and then Beckett and Esposito came back with Elmer in shackles.”

Montgomery stared at Castle for a moment then looked over at Beckett. “Did he inhale too many fumes?”

“No,” Beckett said miserably as a befuddled looking doctor stepped out of the exam room.

“How is he…she?” Esposito demanded without hesitation, then cringed when the doctor turned her ’I’m being bothered by a crazy person’ gaze at him.

“Physically your partner is fine, Detective, but she seems a bit confused. As do you,” the doctor said dryly. “You can go in if you like.”

Still confused, Montgomery was caught in the stampede as his people plowed past the exasperated doctor into the treatment room. Though Castle’s story had been clear (if unbelievable), Roy was not prepared for the sight that awaited them.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, clad in a gown that was far too big for her slender frame, was a young woman with wavy, wild brown hair flowing around her shoulders. Her skin was very fair and that only cause her brilliant blue eyes to pop. In any normal situation, he might have thought she was a relation of Ryan’s, a sister perhaps, because her features, though softer and feminized, were Ryan’s.

It was really strange.

She looked at them and said, “That doctor was this close,” she held up a hand, tiny and fine boned, to indicate a few millimeters distance, “to committing me. Apparently, it’s impossible for a man to suddenly become a woman. I wish someone had told my body that before…this!”

“Your prints came back,” Beckett said to break the awkward silence that had descended after Ryan’s frustrated proclamation. “Congratulations. They match. Just…smaller.”

Ryan scowled down at her hands and said, “Has Elmer said anything about how long it’s going to take to fix me?”

“No, man, sorry,” Esposito said, proving himself a stalwart partner by stepping closer to Ryan while the others hovered in varying degrees of shock. “He’s mostly been complaining about Beckett kneeling on his neck.”

Restraining a smile, Montgomery raised a brow at Beckett who shrugged. “It wasn’t his neck. It was his back…his upper back.”

This statement got a pleased little grin from Ryan who said, “If someone can get me some clothes, the doc said I was fine.”

“We had to send everything that came into contact with the chemicals down to the lab,” Beckett said with a contrite shrug. “I can find some scrubs that’ll work till we get back to the squad room…and your spare clothes aren’t going to fit you.”

Ryan looked down at the distinctly female body his male brain was residing in and, blushing, muttered, “Can I borrow something?”

“Um,” Beckett began, but was saved from an awkward excuse by Castle.

“Kevin,” he said calmly, and Montgomery thought it was a good idea to use the man’s name when his sense of self was probably completely tipped on its side, “I hate to say this, but you make for a teeny woman. Seriously, Alexis is bigger than you…like this. This physical manifestation of you.”

Ryan’s rarely seem grumpy scowl looked more like a pout of a feminine face and Esposito reached out to pat his partner on the back. “Don’t worry about it. You can pick up some stuff that fit until Elmer fixes you up. It’ll be fine.”

With a wry look, Ryan said, “Don’t patronize me, man…and why are you rubbing my back?!”

Hopping back like a scalded cat, Esposito said, “I’m not!”

Montgomery noted Beckett and Castle at least attempted to hade their snickers and after a moment even Ryan laughed. Except it wasn’t his normal laugh, in fact it sounded suspiciously like a giggle that halted quickly when the Irish detective clamped a hand over his/her mouth in shock.

With a sigh Montgomery realized he’d easily win the ‘Oddest Case of the Week’ pool he had going with some of the other captains. At least there was some bright side to this.

* * *

With Elmer in holding, the case that had snowballed into the freaky madness of Ryan turning into a woman was closed, leaving Kate free to try to help her disgruntled colleague acclimate to his hopefully temporary new physique. Though admittedly, she’d initially thought Castle and Ryan were trying to punk them, the fingerprint ID convinced her that something truly weird had happened.

She still wanted the DNA results though. She’d even encouraged Castle to use his friendship with the mayor to get the tests pushed to the front of the overcrowded line at the lab.

Lanie, who, like Kate had been skeptical at first, had agreed to help with the shopping expedition, which in turn had caused Ryan to latch onto his partner, not wanting to ‘suffer’ alone. Castle came along because he was Castle and probably liked shopping more than she did. Kate figured he and Lanie could take charge of this…whatever the hell this trip was turning into.

Before clothes could be found, Lanie had dragged a protesting Ryan into Veronica’s Closet for under things. Kate had snorted at the wide eyed grins Esposito and Castle had exchanged before scampering after them like excited puppies. She wondered how long it’d be before Lanie sent them to sit on the man bench conveniently located outside the store.

When Kate caught up with them, she could hear Ryan protesting, “…don’t think I need one. They’re pretty perky.”

Unable to help herself (hey, it wasn’t everyday that her male colleague turned into a woman), Kate glanced at said perky body parts along with Castle and Esposito. The former rallied his sense of propriety and looked away quickly, but it took a few seconds longer for Esposito to tear his eyes away. The thin hospital scrub wasn’t hiding much.

Knowing far better than Ryan the necessity of a bra, Lanie shook her head and said, “I’m gonna get someone to do a fitting.”

With that, she walked of to catch one of the odd, black clad sales assistants. Ryan was looking around at a loss while Esposito now seemed to be trying to avoid looking directly at any of the products that were for sale. Castle had moved off and was considering something on a table, so Kate stepped over to Ryan.

“How’re you holding up?” she asked him, knowing it was a stupid question, but what else could be asked in this situation?

Ryan gave her a sardonic look and said, “Super. I’m about to get my first bra. Dad would be so proud.”

Eyes widening, Kate tried to bite back a laugh at the sarcastic humor and failed, but since Ryan snorted a bit too, it was okay. “Seriously though, how do you feel?”

With a shrug, Ryan offered, “Okay I guess. A little off balance, in more ways than one. Short. I keep getting hair in my mouth. I miss my…well, yeah.”

Figuring, Ryan would appreciate not being treated any different than usual, she gave him a light thump on the shoulder and said, “Well, buck up. It’ll pass.”

“God I hope so,” Ryan said then cocked his head and asked, “What’re you doing Castle?”

The writer had returned, a pile of cotton in his hands. Closer inspection revealed it to be several pairs of cotton, boy short style pairs of underwear in blue, black, white, grey and tan. Probably the closest thing in the store to the boxer briefs Ryan was used to. “Here,” Castle said, plopping his findings into Ryan’s hands. “These should fit you.”

Ryan looked at the underwear in his hands, clearly torn between the desire to be uncomfortable at the thought of wearing panties from VC and the relief that these particular panties looked somewhat familiar and comfortable. Clearly he was simply not even going to think about the idea that Castle somehow had an idea what size would fit him.

During the brief respite caused by the discovery of non frilly, non lacy undies, Lanie dragged one of the sales people over. The bored woman quickly measured an uncomfortable Ryan and told them his proper bra and cup size (32B) before skulking off to hide amongst the racks of corsets.

Apparently, while Castle was okay with picking out panties he did not feel the same level of comfort with bras and left that up to Lanie and Kate. Mostly Lanie, though Kate had stepped in with a nice assortment of comfortable cotton bras when some of the more adventurous possibilities seemed about to break Ryan’s tenuous hold on his frustration.

In the end, they left with a weeks worth of comfortable cotton under garments, as well as the set Ryan pulled on under his scrubs so he could get clothes that fit right.

Everyone, including Lanie, seemed relieved to have conquered that particular store and in celebration, they took a break to grab some coffee. Coffee seemed like a safe idea…till the college aged guy serving the drinks winked at Ryan, who responded by staring dumbfounded at the kid like he’d grown a second head.

Needless to say, Kate felt compelled to steer everyone out of the shop itself to have their drinks in peace outside. No need for anyone to be more uncomfortable than they already were.

Feeling strengthened by the intake of caffeine and sugar, their odd little quintet made their way to a clothing store. Less than a minute later, Ryan led the charge back out after being accosted by a sales woman who wanted to show him a dress that was “Just made for her!”. Kate doubted Ryan’d be wearing dresses anytime soon and after a brief cool down period, she managed to coax him into a store she knew would carry more acceptable clothes.

She got a lot of her work clothes there, so hopefully Ryan’d be okay with slacks and shirts. He’d just have to get used to the different tailoring…at least until they got this whole trippy thing fixed.

* * *

After you undergo an immediate, involuntary sex change courtesy of the local mad scientist/drug dealer, the learning curve you find yourself on is freakishly steep. Kevin Ryan discovered that little gem of knowledge the moment he looked down and saw breasts attached to his chest. But his chest wasn’t the one he’d grown to know over the past 30 or so years. Hell, the whole body was different.

He didn’t think he’d reacted oddly and, in his opinion, he’d kept the screaming to the minimum required in such a situation. And, since, to his knowledge, this sort of thing had never happened before, he was the one to establish the amount of screaming needed. Rising to his feet had been an experience, as women apparently kept their center of gravity in a different place than men did. He almost toppled over again, but Castle caught his arm and righted him.

The author managed to do it using only one hand.

Bastard.

And what the hell had Martha fed him as a kid? Miracle Grow? It was weird how loosing a couple of inches could make another persons excessive size all the more obvious.

Elmer, the soon to be dead ass, was babbling, torn between awe at his ‘genius’ (yeah right! Ass’d hucked a bunch of stuff at Ryan and poof! Boy parts became girl parts.) and fear for his life.

It was good to know this new body could still be appropriately intimidating.

He so hoped Castle’s theory that they were all suffering some kind of drug induced hallucination was right, but his new breasts felt pretty real. Come on, he’d had to touch them. Any guy would. They were just sitting right there….

Anyhow, the paramedics that had rushed them to the hospital (standard procedure for chemical exposure) clearly thought babbling Elmer was insane, as did the hospital staff. After one slip up with the doctor, Ryan had learned not to say you had been a man an hour earlier when physically you were clearly a woman. All that got you was a funny look and an inquiry as to whether you were currently undergoing intensive psychiatric treatment.

By this point, Kevin knew his usually pleasant disposition was on a rapid, downward spiral. He felt it was his due though, between the whole girl thing and now the questions about his sanity. Never mind the fact that he’d had a moment of doubt about the latter himself.

After the doctor left Esposito, Beckett and Castle piled into the room and, joy of joys, Captain Montgomery was with them. It was bad enough that his friends were seeing him in this strange body -- in a hospital gown, never a flattering outfit --, but tossing his boss into the equation was just icing on the cake.

Beckett confirmed that his fingerprints matched those on record, but he’d known they would. He knew who he was…but any disgruntlement he felt faded when he heard she’d knelt on Elmer’s neck. Go Beckett!

Having to ask about clothes led to some discomfort and then Esposito rubbing his back, which was nice…but he had to nip the whole treat-Ryan-like-a-girl thing in the bud before things got out of control. He was a man, damn it! Just currently a man involuntarily in a woman’s body.

Unable to do anything with Elmer for the time being, Beckett recruited Lanie to help find him some new clothes. Kevin did not like the gleam in the coroner’s eye at the prospect of a shopping spree, so, tossing dignity out the window, he’d attached himself to Esposito, not willing to face that sort of madness alone. Castle had simply followed along, not willing to be left out of an outing.

If he wrote a book about this, Ryan was gonna have to kill him.

The fact that the ground didn’t open up and swallow him whole before Lanie managed to herd him into a violently pink lingerie store made him think it’d been far too long since he’d been to confession. It was the only explanation as to why God had forsaken him…as was doubly evidenced by the fact that there was a reason for Lanie to be hauling him into that Pepto pink hell in search of a bra for him.

His protests that his boobs were nice and perky were largely ignored, by Lanie at least though he had definitly seen three other sets of eyes drop to his chest. Weird as it was, he was actually pleased he made a nicely built woman.

The lingerie ghoul (cause seriously, his ex that had been into the Vampire lifestyle would have totally envied her complexion) measured him and then Lanie pounced on a rack of lacy things that looked far too girly and complicated. Beckett saved the day with some simple cotton numbers that’d match the shorts Castle had found (Ryan wasn‘t even going to think about how the other man had known what size to grab).

When the kid at the coffee place had winked at him, he’d had no idea how to react. It wasn’t that he’d never had a guy flirt with him before, he was as open minded as any guy of his general age, but in this strange new body he felt awkward and ungainly and he kept choking on the hair that seemed intent on flying into his face at every opportunity. Why anyone would hit on that sort of mess was simply was beyond him.

Again Beckett took charge, steering them outside then to a casual, professional clothing store (after the woman in the first store tried to put him in a dress! Not happening). He could deal with the slacks and button down tops like Beckett usually wore. That stuff would do well enough for work and he thought that would be the end of the torture.

But no, he had to get a few things for off duty, a jacket and shoes. Shudder.

He was standing in a corner of some shoe store with Esposito, trying to fade into the wall while pulling hair out of his mouth again when Castle, who’d disappeared a few minutes earlier, strolled over and held out a hand. “Here.”

Ryan looked at what the writer was holding. It was one of those evil hair clips that women wore, the ones that looked like the clips he used to hold bags of chips closed but on steroids. With teeth.

He accepted the thing and peered at it. Out of curiosity, he squeezed the tabs and it opened a bit before snapping closed with surprising force. That couldn’t be comfortable.

“You could lose a finger in that,” Esposito said, obviously agreeing with Kevin’s assessment that it was more of a weapon than a hair accessory.

Castle sighed and took the clip back before turning a finger in a circle. “Spin around,” he muttered and, at their looks, said, “Just trust me.”

Exchanging a look with Esposito, Kevin reluctantly turned his back on the writer, who proceeded to gather the thick locks up off of his shoulders and neck and twist the mass up loosely before using the evil clip to pin the whole mess in place. The whole process only took a few seconds and the relief of being able to breath without snorting hair up his nose was great.

“Looks good,” Esposito told him, then shifted and turned his gaze to Castle. “Let me guess, before you were a novelist, you worked at a salon?”

He was teasing and Castle took it as such, grinning. “Ah, but you boys forget, I‘m a dad. You can‘t even imaging what I can do with bobby pins, a couple of elastics and hair spray.”

“I don’t want to,” Kevin said very seriously, raising a hand to lightly touch the bound mass of hair sitting on his head. “Thanks though. I was about to go looking for the scissors.”

“Don’t,” Esposito said quickly, which puzzled Ryan but seemed to amuse Castle. Glaring daggers at the author, Esposito continued, “If you cut it, Lanie will take you to a salon to get it fixed. Do you really want that?”

Something about that explanation didn’t quite ring true, but the reasoning was sound. He suddenly had a ghastly mental image of the signs he always saw on the outside of salons, the ones that advertised waxing. No freakin’ way was any part of him getting waxed.

From another part of the cavernous store (And who in the hell had thought it was a good idea to put this many women’s shoes in one store. That was just asking for trouble.), Lanie’s voice echoed, “Hey, Ryan, get over here.”

Kevin cringed. “I already found a pair of sturdy boots and a pair of sneakers. Why won’t they let me go?”

This time, Castle and Esposito shared a knowing look and chorused, “Shoes.”

Okay, so yeah a lot of the women Kevin had known did have a certain strange fondness for shoes, but Beckett and Lanie were well aware of the fact that he was not a woman. And they were usually such reasonable people. “But I don’t want or need any other shoes.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Esposito said, patting his shoulder but carefully not letting the action linger. “When my sisters go out shopping, the shoe psychosis sets in.”

Castle was nodding. “Mother has a shoe annex,” he mused, then shrugged off their astonished looks. “What? It’s Mother. She doesn’t do anything on a small scale.”

“Ryan!”

Lanie’s voice was getting closer and Kevin had to consider his options. He could run or he could get drawn in to trying on a horrific number of shoes that pinched. He felt kind of bad running, cause Lanie had been a big help with all the clothes…but the idea of all those shoes made him shudder.

He looked to Esposito and Castle, who exchanged a look and then each seized one of Kevin’s arms and started hustling him down the aisle.

“We’re not running,” Esposito qualified quietly, then paused to peek around the end of an aisle.

“We’re retreating,” Castle finished with a nod.

What was that old saying, you know, the one about discretion being the better part of valor. It definitly applied in this instance.

* * *

God had been feeling giddy today.

It was the only possible explanation Javier Esposito could come up with to explain the events of the day. Otherwise, everything was far too surreal to have ever, in any sane universe (and how he wanted to hold onto the belief that the universe was not, in fact, out to drive him to the whacko shack), have happened.

First , his partner Kevin Ryan got turned into a woman by an honest to God mad scientist. To make matters worse, Kevin made a stunner of a girl, all big, blue eyes, cupid’s bow lips and masses of brown, wavy hair, not to mention the cute little body.

All in all, it was confusing the hell out of Javi, whose brain (and other body parts) was screaming conflicting messages at him. _Hot girl…It’s Ryan…Your point? He’s hot either way…Oh God…What?…Can not deal with this right now…Wimp…._

Just to give you an idea of what his internal dialogue had been through the visit to the hospital and then the shopping trip. The evil shopping trip that included a lingerie store. If Ryan hadn’t been so damn uncomfortable in the place himself it would have been even weirder. Lanie and Beckett had managed to distract themselves by trying to outfit Ryan and Castle…well, Castle was an odd dude.

Then came the uncomfortable realization that Ryan’s neighbors might think it odd that a strange woman was living in his apartment…without him, which was how he had ended up coming home with Javi.

Between the two of them they managed to get the bags of clothes and other apparently necessary female accoutrements into the apartment. A disgruntled, tired, still unused to a female body and hormones Ryan dropped onto the couch and actually pouted when his feet had to stretch to touch the floor when he scooted back into the comfortable cushions.

“Hungry?” Javi asked, hoping to find some busy work so as to avoid staring at his partner, who hadn’t taken too well to that sort of treatment.

Ryan looked up at him and actually grinned, a familiar bright smile, as he hopped up and said, “When am I not?”

Obviously, he intended to help with the hunt for food, which was a perfectly normal thing for Ryan to do. They each spent enough time at each other’s places that they were comfortable.

Except at the moment, Javi had been hoping to hide in the kitchen, but Ryan, clad in dark, boot cut jeans, a cap sleeved navy Yankees t-shirt and little bumpered Converse sneakers, followed him. Gathering up his resolve, Esposito forged ahead. His buddy was going through enough stuff without having to deal with him getting all weird. Repress, repress, repress.

The sex change had not changed Ryan’s eating habits, which Javi had always found mildly appalling and entertaining. The younger man had promptly yanked open the fridge and stuck his head in and Javi nearly gave himself whiplash trying not to check out his partners new ass _(Curvier and fuller through the hips, than the male version,_ his oh so unhelpful brain supplied. _Betcha could bounce a quarter off either.)_

While he contemplated banging his head into a wall, Ryan hauled out several cartons of Chinese food and sniffed at them, little nose scrunching up like a bunny. Shaking himself out of his stupor, Javi said, “Those are kinda old….”

“Nah, it’s still good,” Ryan assured him, plopping a frying pan on the stove and pulling out butter eggs and cheese.

Javi took a seat at the table, cause this was gonna be good. When Kevin got hungry, he got creative with food and it always amazed Javi that he actually ate these strange concoctions he’d come up with. Not as adventurous, Esposito found a package of EasyMac and stuck it in the fridge as Ryan tossed butter on the hot pan then cracked 3 eggs into it, breaking them up with a fork before dumping fried rice, seafood lo mein, BBQ pork and bok-choy onto the top and smothering the whole thing with cheese.

Watching him eat that hot mess would be the evenings entertainment. Especially if he went the usual route an poured like half a bottle of hot sauce on the finished product.

Score! The hot sauce came out as Javi was settling in with his Mac and Kevin plated his monstrosity before giving it a liberal dousing. He then commenced to Hoover the mass of food as though it was something normal. Javi figured Ryan’s stomach had to be made of titanium or something, cause he was willing to bet the man would eat a tin can if he ever got hungry enough.

After swallowing a bite of Mac, Javi laughed, “We should have videotaped this. That way if any guy gives you trouble about your girl dude status, you could show ‘em. Cause no way is a woman eating that. Ever.”

Ryan paused his inhalation of the food and frowned. “Oh well,” he shrugged, then smirked. “There’s always tomorrow.”

“Pizza tomorrow,” Javi insisted, pointing at Ryan’s plate. “I can’t watch that two nights in a row.”

“You don’t know what you’re missing.”

“Heartburn and food poisoning?”

“At least mine is actual food. Cheese is not supposed to be that color.”

This was normal. Banter he could handle. It helped him ignore the other, weirder things. Ryan seemed to sense that and was willing to keep up a stream of back and forth mocking sarcasm as they ate and washed up.

A familiar sense of ease settled over them and Javi wondered why he’d been so worried. This was Ryan. No problems. The rest of the night went fine and as it got later they made the choices to go to sleep, Javi in his room and Ryan on the couch.

As a teasing gesture, Javi had offered to let Kevin use the bathroom to change first, which he did after flipping Javi off. He was still chuckling when Ryan emerged wearing his new jammies, a tank top and shorts set with little penguins on them. And clearly, he had not felt the need to wear a bra to bed.

Offering a strangled goodnight which earned him a look, Javi hustled into the bathroom and practically slammed the door. If he didn’t know the sound would alert Ryan to the fact that something was definitly wrong, he’d have just banged his head into the door.

Instead, he contemplated a cold shower.

* * *

As a writer, Rick Castle didn’t really keep normal hours but since he’d begun shadowing Kate Beckett he’d gotten used to rising early and going down to the station. He didn’t want to miss any interesting cases…but still, he hated mornings.

Today he had woken up, eager and refreshed, ready to see what the new day held.

Cause watching Ryan navigate the world 5 inches shorter and stacked was better than anything on TV. Not that he’d ever say that aloud because a) it was kinda crass, b) Esposito would probably react badly and c) Ryan might just kill him.

If there was any man in the world who knew to respect and fear women, it was Rick Castle.

So he arrived at the 12 Precinct Station House at 8am on the nose, ready for a day of solving crimes and watching real life sci-fi. How could life be any better.

Police, he had found, were very good about looking after their own. While what had happened to Ryan wasn’t exactly a secret, no one was talking about it to anyone outside the House. They were even trying to keep the staring and giggles to a minimum, but Rick figured if this thing lasted long enough then the sensitivity would wear off and the ribald teasing would begin.

But for the moment, things were oddly quiet. Beckett’s desk was empty, Montgomery’s office door was closed and Esposito was sitting at his desk, eyes fixed on his computer, which, oddly enough, wasn’t on.

Huh.

A peek at Ryan’s desk, where everyone else in the squad was quite obviously not looking, revealed the young detective slumped over, face down with his fingers dug into the wild mass of hair. Actually, it appeared that Ryan was gently banging his head, over and over into the surface of the desk.

Deciding it had to be done, Castle said, “Uh, Ryan…you okay there?”

The reaction was immediate. Ryan bolted upright, eyes wide and more wild than his hair. There was a faint red patch on his brow, showing where he’d been drumming it on the desk. “What?” he asked, clearly at wits end and Castle bit back his automatic reaction.

Well, he tried to. That had to count for something, right?

“Yow!” Rick let out a fake yelp, then waved a hand to indicate Ryan’s head. “What the heck is going on up there? Did wolverine attack you on the way in?”

It was a joke, but you could have heard a pin drop as officers and detectives tried to will their molecules to merge with the walls and furniture and Esposito’s face turned a truly impressive shade of purple. Ryan gaped at him, mouth open for a good thirty seconds before dropping back to his desk.

This time however, there was no head banging, cause Ryan was howling with laughter. While, Yeah, it did sound a little hysterical, it was better than the possibility of a head injury. Slowly, the other officers relaxed and Esposito calmed before he actually had a stroke.

After allowing Ryan to wind down to soft gasps interspersed with chuckles, Castle crossed over to Ryan’s desk and pulled a bottle out of his bag, placing it within the detective’s eye line.

Pulling himself upright, Ryan picked up the bottle and read, “No More Tangles?”

“Works like a charm,” Rick said peering down at Ryan’s head before urging the detective up and out of his chair with a hand under an elbow. “Come on. Let’s go deal with the tumbleweed on your head.”

This time the laughter was much more restrained.

Rick shook his head and herded Ryan along to the locker room. After dealing with Alexis’s hair, which had always been long, despite the fact that she’d had a less than cordial relationship with a comb until she was about 8, he felt pretty sure he could sort out the mess on hiss friends head.

If not, they could recruit Beckett when she got in.

* * *

Kate Beckett wondered if it was actually possible to give oneself whiplash simply by turning your head too fast. If so, then the majority of men (and some of the women) in the squad would soon enough be feeling the effects of their numerous double takes.

Indian summer had set upon New York City, sending temperatures soaring into the high 90’s. There had been a handful of inevitable snickers about the prescience of Heat Wave, much to her dismay and Castle’s delight. To make matters worse, the precinct house’s air conditioning system had died a catastrophic death during the night and the building was swelteringly hot.

The officers, even in their light weight summer uniforms, were suffering and the detectives were shedding as many layers as was reasonable. Castle, the lucky bastard, had given up all pretense of professionalism in the face of the heat and had shown up in long, cargo shorts and a t-shirt. At some point, Kate herself had ditched her jacket but the silky shell she’d worn underneath was sticking to her skin uncomfortably.

Esposito had loosened his tie, unbuttoned his collar, lost his jacket and rolled up his sleeves. He had his face in front of a small desk fan and had been shot-gunning bottles of ice water since their shift had started.

Ryan was just returning from an iced coffee run and that was when Kate began wondering about the causes of whiplash.

At some point during his foray out into the heat, Ryan had completely shucked his long sleeved top in favor of the cotton, ribbed low cut tank he’d worn underneath. The stretchy material was sweat soaked and the tops of his shoulders and breasts had been kissed a rosy, red shade, the first blush of a sunburn. His hair was gathered up in an alligator clip, but for a few tendrils that had escaped to cling to his neck amidst rolling sweat droplets.

His face was flushed, eyes bright and he carried the tray of coffees triumphantly before dropping into his seat. “Man, it’s nuts out there. You’d think some of the crazies would stay in to beat the heat, but they’re all out there.”

Castle heaved himself out of his chair, to retrieve his (and Kate’s. Yes, in some ways, he was trainable) drink. At the desk, he paused, then plunked Esposito’s down in front of him, as Javi was clearly focused on the way Kevin’s St. Christopher medal seemed stuck on the damp upswell of his left breast.

The arrival of yummy iced coffee goodness failed to kick Esposito out of his stupor and Castle shrugged at Kate before handing over her drink.

Ryan, who, after a few days in a woman’s body, was getting used to the occasional gawking, fished an ice cube out of his own drink and chucked it at his partners head. Esposito jumped as the cube hit his brow and asked, “What the hell?”

“Eyes, man. I am not putting another layer back on, so just mind the eye line,” Ryan said, sipping his drink and rocking back slightly in his chair.

Esposito flushed and pointedly looked away, then snickered. “The coffee guy hit on you again?”

“Yup.”

“Have you tried telling him you’re a dude?”

Ryan raised one perfectly arched brow (courtesy of Lanie, who had cornered him the day before) and said, “Apparently, that fact is not exactly a deal breaker. In fact, it just seemed to peak his interest.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Kate saw Castle making a note in his ever present book. Discretely, she read the list and tried not to snicker. He was actually keeping a list of how many shades of red and purple Esposito’s face had managed to turn since Kevin’s ‘incident’.

She should tell him to stop.

It wasn’t funny.

She kicked his ankle and he looked up. “What?”

Glancing at his notebook, she knew what she should say…but that wasn’t what came out of her mouth. “Puce.”

Castle’s eyes lit up and he said, “Oh, good one!”

Ryan and Esposito looked at them like they were crazy people.

It had to be the heat, she decided.

* * *

Striding into the Homicide squad of the 12th Precinct Station House, Alexis Castle wrinkled her nose. Something, or someone (possibly a mixture of the two), smelled like feet, old Limburger cheese and artificial evergreen air freshener. Not the most appealing combination of scents.

Still, she braved, the smell (and the heat) to locate her father, who was sitting by Detective Beckett’s desk, reading through a file. Planting herself in front of him, she placed her hands on her hips and stared down at him before sternly saying, “Dad.”

He clearly knew why she was there and thus acted like he was completely surprised. “Alexis! What brings you down here into the land of before deodorant?”

She bit back a reflexive smile. Her dad was a funny guy, but she wasn’t here on a funny matter. “You’re ignoring Gina again,” she said unhappily. “And Kate has stopped taking her calls. She’s even called Paula, but she was out of the office. I thought that was your worst nightmare, the two of them teaming up on you.”

“It is, but at the moment avoiding Gina takes precedence.”

“I can’t even repeat what she threatened to do to you this time. It was just too disturbing.”

A paternally perturbed look crossed her father’s face and he said, “I’ll have to have a word with her about that….”

It went unsaid that he was still going to be avoiding her, so Alexis prompted, “Book launch….?”

“Friday night, I know,” he said, patting the visible bump of his phone in his shirt pocket. “My phone started warning me a few days ago.”

With a laugh, Alexis asked, “What on Earth did you do in the pre-Iphone days?”

“I don’t know about everyone else, but I was blessed with preternaturally responsible daughter.”

“Nice,” she chirped, approving of his apology-- by way of sucking up-- for putting her in the middle of his spat with Gina. “But don’t comment on the foolish amount I spent on a few end of season swim suits and we’ll call it even.”

“Deal.”

She really loved her dad. “So, are Kate and the others coming to the launch?”

“I assume so,” he said, then craned his neck to where Beckett, Esposito and --Oh, wow, her dad had told her about Ryan’s ’incident’ but she hadn’t seen him since it had happened. Trippy -- Ryan were coming out of the Captain’s office. “You guys coming to the launch?”

“Wouldn’t miss it.” Captain Montgomery was always refreshingly direct.

“Need protection from the hoards of fan girls?” Kate never failed to teasingly put dad in his place and she did so without malice. If Alexis was one to match-make, she’d think Kate would be good for dad. Grams certainly did.

“Do you need to ask?” Detective Esposito seemed to really enjoy the crazy parties that dad’s job and he was always amusing wry in his observations about the other people there.

“You expect me to go like this?!” Ryan seemed genuinely disturbed at the thought and was waving his hands up and down to indicate his changed physique, obvious in the sweaty tank top.

Alexis thanked her in depth study of Supernatural gender!swap fic (God, Dean was a pretty, pretty man, so there was a lot that made him a pretty, pretty woman.) for her lack of confusion as to which sex to assign Detective Ryan. Her brain said he was a he but her eyes saw a she, so she resolved the conflict by going with the gender he was born. It made sense.

Montgomery glanced at his detective before ducking back into his office, clearly not willing to deal with that particular can of worms. Alexis couldn’t fault the man, as he clearly didn’t have the fandom facilitated experience with such things that she possessed.

Esposito looked at his partner, eyes glazing slightly in a manner familiar to any hormonally charged high school student. That was interesting but not entirely unexpected. Slash goggles or not, those two were pretty heavily entrenched in denial. She wondered how much the whole inadvertent sex change was messing with their carefully balanced, subtlety flirty (in a passably hetero way) relationship.

Kate simply gave her blushing co-worker a reasonable glance and said, “We could find you a nice pant suit or something.”

“Yeah,” Dad agreed. “You love my parties. They’re going to have those crab cakes and mini quiches.”

“The quiches?” Ryan asked, clearly intrigued, as Esposito said, “Those are good.”

Seizing an opportunity to spend some time with Ryan -- ‘cause when was she going to meet another person who’d been doused in chemicals and spontaneously changed sexes?-- Alexis offered, “I could take you shopping for something, if you have time.”

Ryan hesitated, but Esposito said, “I can handle the paperwork…besides, do you want Lanie to hear you need to go shopping again?”

Blanching, Ryan weakly said, “But it’s so hot out.”

“Oh, swimming!” Alexis said happily, then looked to Kate and Esposito. “You two should come over after work. Take a swim and Dad can use his new grill. She didn’t understand her father’s affection for the barbeque, but it was strange and intense.

“You’ve got a pool?” Esposito asked Dad, who was clearly already planning a meat menu for dinner.

“On the roof,” he said distractedly.

The three detectives shared a look before Ryan was unceremoniously shoved in Alexis’s direction. “Have fun. Remember to get a swimsuit,” Kate offered cheerfully to Ryan which caused Esposito to freeze ad turn the color of a ripe plum.

“Come on, Detective,” Alexis said with a grin. “Remember, department stores are air conditioned.”

That fact seemed to lighten his spirits considerably.

* * *

Alexis had been right. The stores they had been to so far had all been air conditioned to the point of being chilly. They icy blasts that greeted them at each doorway were very welcome after the day Ryan had already had.

He and Esposito had cornered a skel who’d killed his girlfriend. A crime of passion, he insisted, but that didn’t jive with the fact that the moron had posted pictures of her body online and changed his Facebook status to single.

Despite the heat, humidity and general nastiness of having to chase Dwayne Logan, then having to tackle and cuff the man, Ryan felt a bit of pride that his reduced size hadn’t made any noticeable impact on his ability to take down a perp when necessary.

It was small, but it was a victory.

Unfortunately, none of the dressier suits fit or looked right. Frankly, he just wasn’t a fan of pant suits and, since it was supposed to be a scorcher on Friday, he wasn’t looking forward to wearing layers.

Also, the sales people were looking at him funny and he couldn’t figure out why. Sure, he was a little rumpled looking, but he was wearing women’s clothes and nothing was showing that shouldn’t be showing. It was weird.

Alexis however had proven to be a good shopping companion. She hadn’t dragged him off on a shoe fueled tangent, seemed okay with his desire to avoid pink (one of the must have colors, apparently) and her critiques were actually helpful and kinda funny.

After suit number eight, a dark green -- almost black-- number, Alexis offered, “I know this probably seems like a freaky idea, but honestly, dresses are much cooler than suits. In all possible ways.”

Ryan froze. “A dress?”

She shrugged. “It was just a suggestion. Besides, how funny would it be to see Dad and Detective Esposito’s reactions?”

The littlest Castle had a point. Besides, in a room full of women in dresses, he’d stand out in pants and standing out was the last thing he wanted. It might be better to swallow his pride and wear a dress. The knowledge that it would freak his friends out was just a bonus.

“Okay,” he said to the teenager. “I’ll try some dresses, but if it doesn’t work out, not a word to anyone. Especially your father.”

Alexis nodded solemnly and simply said, “I think blue would be a good color on you.”

* * *

“Why did you never mention there was a pool on the roof of your building before?”

Javier Esposito couldn’t help but agree with Beckett’s question. This was the sort of thing that they definitly needed to be aware of. He, Lanie and Beckett were standing by the side of the pool, Castle planted at his grill, which was the side of a small sedan, while Martha passed by heading toward a lounge chair.

“Richard isn’t overly fond of the water,” Martha informed them, settling her drink on the small table before gliding into her seat. “One experience with a leech and he gets skittish.”

“Leeches, Mother, plural. A veritable army of the nasty blood suckers, some of them in uncomfortable places.”

The thought alone made Esposito cringe, but it wasn’t quite an explanation. “But there aren’t any leeches in a pool.”

“True and while I don’t have a true phobia, I simply don’t like swimming,” Castle said, pointing at them with a pronged cooking fork.

Beckett dipped her toes into the pool and asked, “Can you swim, Castle?”

“Of course,” he replied easily. “Alexis loves the water. When she was little, she wanted to be Ariel and I wasn’t about to let her go in alone.”

Esposito chuckled. Castle was a good guy and loved his daughter fiercely. The detective didn’t doubt that the man would wade through a leech field if his daughter asked him to.

Speaking of Alexis, the teenager, with Ryan in tow, had just arrived on the roof both wearing long, brightly colored jersey tank tops, sunglasses and flip flops. In fact, the outfits could be described as a very casual, very light weight dress, if not for the fact that Ryan had, thus far, shown a marked distaste for the idea of wearing a dress.

But at the moment he didn’t seem to mind and something in Javi’s stomach clenched. There were times when Kevin, as a guy or now a girl, looked younger than his years. Not that thirty was old to begin with (he was the baby on the squad), but occasionally, a trick of the light or a flash of a smile and Esposito could almost see the fresh faced kid he’d been not to long ago. Minus the acne.

Ryan’s large, proud family was quick to whip out photo albums, a fact Javi shamelessly took advantage of. It wasn’t like Ryan didn’t do the same when Javi’s Mama broke out the nostalgia. He remembered the last time he’d brought Kevin to Mama‘s, who thought the Irish detective was lindo como botón and could be counted on to practically force feed anyone who entered her home, to help him move a big old dresser. He’d gone to wash up and returned to find Ryan and Mama on the sofa, several books of photos spread out on their laps.

The smiles they had aimed at him made it impossible for him to be mad at either of them, even when Kevin held up a certain picture and questioned, “A tuba?”

Now Ryan had that same smile plastered on his changed face, tossing Castle a wave as he made his way over to Javi, Beckett and Lanie. Alexis joined her dad by the grill and seemed to be offering critique on his grilling technique.

“Hi, Mrs. R,” Ryan greeted Martha, who was peering at him over the top of her sunglasses.

“Well, look at you,” Martha said, reminding Javi that she had not seen Ryan since the Incident, capital I, as they were now referring it. “Lovely bone structure and your skin is flawless. Bet this wasn’t something they covered at the police academy, was it, kiddo?”

Ryan grinned and replied, “No, ma’am.”

Javi, Beckett and Lanie tried not to chuckle at Martha’s blasé, seen it all attitude. She really was a force of nature and knowing her explained a lot about why Castle was the way he was.

Speaking of Castle, the author called from the grill, pointing to where Alexis was breaking out an industrial sized bottle of sun block. “Ryan, you’re gonna fry. SPF 35 or higher.”

That was true. Ryan’s fair skin already showed signs of color from the brief periods he’d been outside that day and, while it looked pretty, a burn would probably hurt like hell.

“Yes, Dad,” Kevin said in a wry tone, which got a few chuckles from everyone, including Castle, as he crossed back towards Alexis.

“Heard you went shopping without me,” Lanie teased him lightly, knowing their previous excursion had completely stressed the man out. “Find what you needed or am I gonna have to take you out again?”

Ryan held up his hands in surrender. “It’s all good, Lanie,” he laughed, “Alexis was a big help.”

Castle finished grilling some of the veggies and waved them over to take a sample. Never one to pass up food that smelled good, Javi took a few steps in that direction as Ryan tugged his cover up over his head to apply the advised sun block.

Pale, milky white legs. Little, bright blue boy shorts with sky blue detailing. A tiny strip of more white skin before the matching tankini top began, more piping that seemed to emphasize already abundant curves and a color that set off Ryan’s eyes. As he smoothed the lotion over his shoulders and arms, his long ponytail swung prettily.

When Ryan laughed, certain body parts moved in a very interesting manner.

That was the last thing Javi noticed before he walked right into the pool.

* * *

Sipping from her drink, Martha Rogers shook her head as Javier emerged, sputtering, from the deep end of the pool, spitting as he splashed his way to the side. Kate and Lanie were already crouching at the edge while Rick, Alexis and Kevin were on their way over, questioning voices ringing out in concern.

“Dude, what happened?” Ryan’s voice was tinged with both amusement and concern as his little feet came to rest beside Javier’s hands. “You been drinking already?”

“No,” Esposito mumbled, swiping water out of his eyes and reaching up blindly. “Help me, man.”

Laughing, Ryan grasped his partners arm and pulled. Martha could see it coming a mile away. Not used to being smaller, with different muscle mass, when Kevin tugged on Javier’s arm, the older man was not heaved from the pool. No, Ryan simply let out a startled, “OH!” and tumbled into the water as well.

Like many born and raised in New York city, Kevin Ryan had not spent a lot of time swimming. Sure, he had learned how but most parents, not wanting their children exposed to disease and possible mutations, had not wanted their babies swimming in the rivers.

He hit the water, mouth open, and obviously took a few gulps before he resurfaces, choking and hacking up lungful of chlorinated water. Esposito grabbed his partner, hauling him towards the side as Ryan turned into an octopus. Slender, pale arms snaked Esposito’s neck, pulling him close in fear and desperation while Esposito held him up, one arm braced on the poolside as Kevin coughed up a fountain of water.

“How much did you swallow?” Lanie asked, concerned but not terribly so as Ryan peered up at her from behind sodden brown locks.

“Don’t know,” he sputtered, squirming towards the edge and Martha had a good view of Esposito, who seemed both uncomfortable and reluctant to release his partner, while the man was still in distress, of course.

Richard solved that particular issue by reaching down into the pool, catching Ryan under his arms and lifting him out of the water, depositing him in front of Lanie for inspection. Then he hauled Esposito up onto the deck. “You okay?” he asked, causing the detective to nod.

“I’m fine,” Esposito said, craning his neck to look at where Lanie had Ryan bent over, hands on his knees while she thumped his back to bring up some more water. While Martha found the retching to be quite unpleasant, Esposito was clearly focusing on the curve of Ryan’s rear, which did look quite lovely in those little swim shorts.

From inside the huddle, Alexis said, “Dad, shouldn’t you be watching the meat?”

“Oh, right,” he said, retreating and pulling Esposito with him. “Come on. You can help me plate the steaks.”

Martha smiled at her son who grinned in return. It wasn’t often that her boy tried to be subtle, but he was capable of it. Fortunately, for his reputation, no one seemed to notice.

* * *

The tumble into the pool had been unexpected but refreshing. He could have done without swallowing half the volume of chlorinated water, but no long term harm was done. At least nothing he could tell.

He’d been shocked as hell when he hadn’t even budged Javi when trying to help him from the pool. The action, done without thought, had sent him head first into the deep end and Javi ended up having to fish him out as he choked and sputtered. The actual moment was a bit confused, but he had distinct memories of being pressed tight to warm, strong flesh and clinging to broad shoulders before Castle pulled him out like a water soaked doll.

After their unintentional swim, everyone sat around the tables, shoving a variety of grilled meats and veggies into their mouths. Alexis washed hers down with iced tea, while Martha had some mixed drink and the rest of them nursed beers. Kevin was careful with his, as he wasn’t quite sure what his alcohol tolerance would be in this body.

The air, high above the overheated blacktop was still hazy, but less horrible than street level and there was a slight breeze. Damp and only wearing a bathing suit, Ryan was pretty comfortable as they ate. As a general rule, since the first day or so, no one was commenting on the whole ‘he’s a woman now’ thing. It was, he knew, done purposefully to make him feel more comfortable, but really, it wasn’t like it was anything he could forget.

He got unnerved by his long, seemingly possessed hair, Castle braided it or clipped it without fuss. Esposito discretely avoided him around shower times. Beckett had randomly handed him a chocolate bar one day (and, oh God, had it been good). Montgomery was just pretending nothing had happened.

He hoped, if Creepy Elmer couldn’t reverse this, and soon, his Mom took it that well. She’d probably cry for a while then tell him he should marry his partner. Yeah, Mom was a tough cookie, with an intense desire for grandkids. She always joked that they spent more time together than any married couple and got along far better than most.

Yeah, Mom, an liberal Irish Catholic Democrat who worshiped the Kennedy’s, had raised her blue eyed baby boy to be an open minded guy.

“Dude, you okay?”

Esposito noticed his contemplative mood and Ryan smiled, not wanting to say exactly what he was thinking. Glancing around the table, he was assured Alexis was distracted by something Beckett and Lanie were saying, so he nodded to the kielbasa in Esposito’s hand. “Just missing some things, I guess,” he joked, laughing as his partner glanced at his food.

“That’s not right!” Esposito yelped, then tossed the kielbasa at Ryan who couldn’t help but giggle.

The action drew the attention of the others and Castle asked, “Are we having a food fight?”

“NO!” chorused Beckett, Lanie and Alexis while Martha made a quick and strategic retreat back to her lounge chair.

Apparently, Martha was well aware of the once Castle decided a food fight was on, it was on.

Later that night, Ryan was still picking cherry tomatoes and grilled pepper out of his cleavage.

* * *

Of course Rick hadn’t been unable to avoid Gina at the book launch and he’d paid dearly (in the form of a long lecture that included threats cribbed from his own books). Still, she stifled her bile to give the traditional, flowery and effusive introduction of In Heat.

The equally traditional flow of fawning socialites and executants and news types surrounded him but occasionally he’d catch a glimpse of his daughter with his real friends, parked over by the food tables. A flash of Alexis’s red hair beside the shiny beading of Beckett’s lavender dress. Lanie had a bright Orchid in her hair. Once, he’d heard Esposito’s laugh carry across the crowd.

Of course, Mother was holding court by the piano bar (He still didn‘t know how she‘d arranged for that feature. The woman had super powers, for real). Some things never changed. With recent events being what they were, consistency was something to be cherished.

“Solving real crimes with the police must be so exciting!” gushed one particularly aggressive admirer, whom had latched onto his arm with talon like claws and was steadfastly refusing to detach. If she weren’t so very grating, Rick would have admired her persistence.

“I’m just there to observe.” He smiled, in a manner he’d learned to employ long ago, a smile that implied that he was flattered, pleased by the attention but he really had someplace he simply had to be.

It was usually extremely effective.

Usually.

This oddly tenacious beast was not taking the hint.

While trying to pry her loose, he said, “I’m sorry, I really have to….”

“…move your hand or I’ll feed it to you.”

Rick caught the end of a comment, now familiar voice sounding strained and annoyed. Turning towards the source, he said, “Ryan, over here…Oh wow! Has Esposito seen you yet?”

Still glaring down Mr. Gropey, who was clearly more than half in the bag, Ryan ducked towards Rick. “What? No. Why? Are people at these parties always so handsy? I’d never noticed that.”

The ardent admirer, whom Rick was mentally referring to as Nails for obvious reasons, had practically sunk her nails into his arm, clear through his jacket. She gave Ryan a head to toe glance then asked, “Are you two together? ‘Cause I could totally get into that.”

Rick blinked, mind momentarily going to where any man’s mind would, before he shook himself and let out a half laughing, half choked, “No!”

“Not likely,” Ryan snorted, then tried to peer around through the throngs of people. “Have you seen the others?”

“Guarding the food,” Rick joked, then, as he managed to free his arm for a moment while Nails was distracted by a passing day time soap actor, he said, “Let’s go find them.”

‘Cause he wasn’t going to miss Esposito’s reaction. Not for all the tea in China.

* * *

“Look who I found!”

Javier looked up from his plate, filled with a variety of the foods offered, when he heard Castle’s voice booming through the crowd. The author had been making the rounds while Alexis had joined Javi, Lanie and Beckett. Captain Montgomery was mingling and Ryan had yet to arrive…or so he thought.

By virtue of the fact that he was the reason everyone was here, the crowd let Castle pass trough without much trouble. Because of the density, it wasn’t until he got very close that Javi noticed someone trailing in his wake.

“Packed tonight, huh?” Ryan asked, popping out form behind Castle and making a bee line for the food.

Oh Damn.

This was just….

How was he supposed to….

This whole ‘Ryan’s suddenly a woman’ thing was messing with his carefully maintained denial. He wasn’t a dumb man. He knew full well how he felt. But it had been easier to deny (years of experience) when Ryan looked like a dude.

Tonight, he looked nothing like one of the guys, in a pale blue knee length cotton sundress with a halter top, empire waist, sweetheart neckline and delicate black flower details. Still eschewing heels, Ryan had chosen a pair of black, crochet flats that he could easily move in. His hair, combed out into long, loose waves was held back by some kind of metallic and pearlescent band, the only accessory he had besides his ever present St. Christopher.

I mean seriously! How the hell was he supposed to deal with that? It was somehow even worse than the bathing suit the other day. Ryan had made it clear on that first, hectic shopping trip that he was not going to wear dresses. Something had obviously changed his mind without Javi being aware and he had no chance to mentally prepare for this.

At least there weren’t any large, water filled holes for him to fall into. He’d have to find some new way to embarrass himself.

“See,” Alexis was saying, waving a hand to indicate her pretty green dress and Ryan’s blue one, “Aren’t you much cooler than you would be if you’d worn one of those tragic pant suits?”

One of Ryan’s pale little hands (Oh, dear God…was that polish on his nails? It was clear, at least, like the stuff used in a man manicure), brushed over the fluttery skirt. “Actually, yes,” he agreed easily enough. “This thing is pretty comfortable…once I got beyond the initial shock of it.”

Javi was pretty sure it was going to take him a good long while to get over his own shock. Unable to form a coherent sentence quite yet, he shoved a quiche into his mouth and chewed. This was going to be a long, uncomfortable night.

And not just because of the heat.

* * *

Lanie was pretty sure Esposito was going to either have a stroke or punch someone in the head by the end of the night. Or get rip roaring drunk. Possibly all of the above.

Every time Ryan strayed from their little group, it seemed like someone (men and women) increasingly unsubtle passes at him. Lanie and Kate weren’t sure if they should be amused or offended, but decided that they both knew how to project an aura of ‘step off!’, while Ryan kind of looked like a doe eyed innocent.

In other words: Prey.

Of course that was before one guy grabbed Ryan’s ass and the detective put the jerk in an arm lock that nearly dislocated his shoulder while creatively cussing him out. Castle took a step towards the scuffle, but when he saw that Ryan was clearly handling things he halted, grabbing Esposito’s shoulder to keep him from jumping into the fray.

Javier was clearly looking to put a hurt on the guy and set an example and that was clear to everyone, including Ryan. A funny look crossed the Irish detective’s face and he tossed the offending party away, smirking slightly as the guy landed on the ground with a muffled thump and the party goers around him watched in amusement. It seemed like most of them thought it was all part of the evenings entertainment.

Except for Gina, who momentarily looked like she was going to have a stroke. Lanie hoped that didn’t actually happen, ‘cause it was her night off and she really wasn’t in the mood to be administering drunk triage. Not that she was actually drunk, just a bit buzzed on champagne. There was too much she wanted to have a clear memory of to get truly soused.

Like the sight of Ryan stalking over to Esposito, grabbing the larger man’s arm and dragging him away from the group. Clearly Javi had seen the peeved look on Kevin’s face and tossed a desperate, fearful look to the rest of them, begging for help.

Yeah, like that was gonna happen. Those two had shit they needed to work out amongst themselves…though Lanie did wish she could be a fly on the wall for that conversation.

* * *

“Okay, what is with you tonight? You‘ve barely said boo to me and then you go all bull/red flag when that schmuck got grabby. Use your words, man.”

As soon as they reached the relatively private alcove that Ryan, deceptively strong for a rather small woman, dragged him over to, Javier realized he might be in trouble. Kevin was staring at him like he’d grown a second head, little hands resting on his hips. There was the slightest of breezes and the hem of his dress was fluttering slightly and Javi swallowed deeply, wishing he’d had his drink in hand when Ryan had absconded with him.

He knew full well why he had reacted badly to the asshole, but putting it into words seemed like an unreasonably difficult task. Opening his mouth, Javi hoped whatever came out sounded sensible. Instead, he managed to mutter, “I…You look pretty.”

Wow. That was lame.

Ryan blinked at him, clearly a little taken aback. His hands dropped from his hips and he fingered the fabric of his skirt. When he lowered his head, Javi thought for a moment that he might have offended his partner, but then he saw the little smile on the younger man’s face. “Thanks,” Kevin mumbled, then glanced up at Javi through those thick, dark lashes. “I still feel kinda funny in this get up…but it is really comfortable. Airy.”

Javi glanced down at the swish of the skirt and the creamy skin it brushed against. He felt a warm rush, similar to what the occasional glimpse of Kevin’s lower tummy, bared between t-shirt and trousers by a stretch, would have caused pre-incident. There were so many differences and so many similarities…It was confusing and a little intoxicating.

A hand landed on his arm, so much more finely boned than it had once been, but still gun callused like his own. Javi place his own hand over it before he knew he was moving and wrapped his fingers around those delicate digits. “ I guess you’re adjusting to this then.”

“Don’t really seem to have a choice. Creepy Elmer has no idea how this happened, so he might not be able to turn me back.” There was a hint of annoyance and resignation in Kevin’s voice, but also something oddly hopeful. “I might just have to accept that this may be my body from now on.”

“It’s always been yours, just a little different,” Javi assured him, free hand coming up to clasp his partner’s shoulder comfortingly. More smooth skin, delicate dress straps and soft, tumbling waves of hair touched his hand and one of his fingers traced along the daintily line of her clavicle. Ryan’s eyes closed as he continued to stroke the small bone. It was like his fingers were possessed.

“Do you really still see me, Javi? Do you see Kevin, your partner, the man you work with every day…or do you see the pretty girl in front of you tonight?”

They were close, so very close and Javi’s fingers brushed the rounded, feminine jaw line. “You’re you, Kev. Man or a woman, you’re always gonna be my partner…and man or a woman, you’d have looked pretty tonight.”

Those startlingly blue eyes popped open and his pretty, pink bow lips parted. “Now, normally I’d object to being called pretty but tonight you get a pass,” Ryan murmured, shifting slightly closer and Javi took a breath as their fabric clad chests brushed slightly.

The sounds of the party still in full swing outside their little alcove seemed to fade into the background as they shared breaths, coming shorter and shorter as they both refused to break eye contact. Kevin was so close, Javi couldn’t help but take in all the little details.

Someone, probably Alexis or Martha (as all the Castle’s seemed to have adopted Kevin), had put something pale and shimmery on his eye lids and lined them in smudgy black. The effect made normally striking eyes mesmerizing and Javi wondered if he’d have a chance in hell of convincing Kev to try the makeup again after Creepy Elmer got his boy parts back to him.

A tug a his tie startled Javi, causing him to glance down. Ryan had wrapped his little fist in Javi’s tie, puling down on the fabric with gentle pressure. Javi watched as the raw silk of his tie brushed the creamy smooth flesh of Kevin’s breasts above the neckline of his dress and he smiled at the light scattering of freckles visible before raising one of his own hands and burying it in Ryan’s flowing locks.

His pulse jumped as Kevin leaned closer still and he could feel his partners warm, cherry scented (what the hell had he been drinking) breath fanning across his face, urging him to lean in that last little bit. This was so right and, at the same time so wrong, and yet his eyelids were fluttering, lips parting automatically when their noses brushed.

Screw logic. This was not a situation where reason and logic could help. This was an occasion to follow the heart, and Javi knew what his heart wanted, though a tiny voice in his mind was still yelling that he was taking advantage of his partners altered state. But Kevin seemed to be on the same track as him, so the grumpy, mood spoiling voice was ignored.

Javi’s eyes clamped tightly shut and his chest heaved with each breath. Kevin was close, too close but not close enough. He couldn't think with him like that, he couldn't wrap his mind around anything other than the feel of Kev’s breath coming out in puffs against his lips, the feel of their noses touching and the warmth radiating from his little body. Javi wasn’t sure how they’d gone from Kevin being cranky over Javier’s Alpha male reaction to grabby guy to where they were now, but couldn’t bring himself to protest in the slightest.

Hi heart was trying to escape from his body (Alien style), slamming against his ribcage. Breathing already labored just from their close proximity, he let his left hand slide up to his neck, feeling him react. Javi could both see an feel his partner flush or maybe that was his own body heating up. He wasn't entirely sure…about anything at the moment. He did, however, know he'd snap if he didn't do something besides this teasing, taunting dance of denial that they were too damn good at. Keeping a clear head was difficult, especially as they stood, unmoving, bodies pressed together, mouths close but frozen.

Something that sounded a bit like a whimper escaped someone’s lungs, but he stopped thinking about that when he felt Ryan tilt his head, letting his parted lips gently brush his. Javi was too paralyzed by the feeling the gentle touch evoked to move, the pressure was barely there but he could feel the emotion behind it.

The sensation was gone in a matter of seconds, his tongue darted out to wet his lips, tasting Ryan’s cherry lip balm, his eyes cracking open to assess the situation. One shared glance and hands groped tighter, lips meeting once again. It wasn't as soft as before but hungry, passionate. The sound in the background faded further away as they pressed into each other . Javi rumbled deep in his chest as Ryan slid his lips against his, picking up a rhythm immediately and shifting himself higher up his body for better access caused Javi to stiffen, a low groan letting Ryan know how he felt about her movement. Their lips paused, pressed together, but still.

Javi wasn't sure why they'd stopped but the respite lasted only seconds and then one of his hands fisted in Ryan’s hair and something warm and wet nudged his bottom lip. He opened up to him without thought, giving in to the hunger and yearning they were both in the thrall of. Giving in to what had been dancing around the periphery of their relationship for quite some time now. Hands became braver with every tentative brush of their tongues, Ryan’s sliding down his back to dip beneath the waistband of her pants. Everything was just burning through Javi’s veins…It was all too much and not enough.

The kiss had begun to slow down, losing the initial frantic steam of the moment and turning into something that could only be describe as loving and tender. The sounds of the party once again penetrated their ears and, to their shock, someone was standing at the lip of their alcove, loudly clearing her throat.

Alexis had her back to them and was offering them a bit of discretion until they wrapped up their…discussion.

“Alexis, what’s up?” Ryan asked and Javi couldn’t help but notice the very cute pink blush staining Kevin’s features and knew his own face was probably a far less attractive shade of mauve.

“Kate got a call and you all have a body waiting for you,” the teenager said before glancing back at them.

Javier gave the girl a smile. “Your dad hates being left out of calls.”

“The perils of fame,” Ryan agreed with a grin.

“Please,” Alexis said with dramatically rolled eyes. “Gina and Paula are spinning it already… ‘Best Selling author leaves own book launch when duty calls’… or something like that.”

“Oh, that’s a good one kiddo,” Paula said as she careened by the trio, a cell phone pressed to each ear. Before anyone could comment, she was gone in a cloud of Chanel No. 5 and out of sight.

The followed Alexis back to where Beckett was speaking with Montgomery, Castle and Lanie (the latter telling her to call Perlemutter, as it as her night off and she’d had a couple drinks).

“You two ready?” Beckett asked as soon as she saw them and they nodded, knowing they’d get filled in on the way. A busy party was not the place to discuss details of a fresh case.

Castle leaned over and gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek. “Keep an eye on your grand mother and if anyone asks about me make up something good.”

“Will do,” the redhead assured her father waving to him and the others as she reclaimed her seat with Lanie and Montgomery was summoned off by the chief of police.

Exiting the party in a blinding flash of camera lights, Javi wondered how they’d look, showing up to a crime scene as is. Beckett in a one shouldered lavender dress and strappy spike heels, Castle in a light weight tux, though he’d pulled the bow tie loose some hours ago. Javi didn’t think his own suit was all that different from his everyday wear, but Ryan’s cute little blue number was sure to case some looks.

He knew he was definitely going to try to get a better look himself, later tonight, when…if they made it home at a reasonable hour. Or an unreasonable one.

* * *

Another night in New York, another crime scene. Tonight was particularly busy as this was the fifth 10-21 Officer Mark LaGuardi had responded to with his junior partner, Jason Kwantan. However, this was the first scene where they found a body and a screaming, freaked out spouse.

LaGuardi had called it in immediately as Kwantan tried to haul the screeching woman away from body, hoping she hadn’t contaminated too much of the scene. Together, they managed to get her out of the brownstone and situated in the back of their squad car just as another black and white, lights flashing, pulled up to the curb.

They filled Officers Dermott and Johnson in on what little they knew and, leaving them to secure the area with, the first responders entered the house and made a quick sweep, assuring themselves that there was no one lurking in the shadows. By the time they’d completed that task and returned to the front stoop, four other uniforms had arrived and the wail of sirens could be heard in the distance, an ambulance by the sound of it. The ME’s van and the CSU nerds tended to make a quieter approach.

Officer Sharan, a rookie of Indian descent was sitting beside the still weeping widow, Martha Huxley-Whitmore, whose husband Bentley was lying on the floor inside. The other officers gathered by the short staircase that led into the house, waiting for the detectives and forensics types to arrive. This was one of the aspects of police work that no one ever talked about, no one wrote books about or made tv shows about. There was a lot of waiting involved.

Especially on a busy night.

And the traffic, slowing on the street to peer at the gaggle of officers (all the while attempting to look aloof and non-chalant about it), would slow their arrival even more. Even as LaGuardi had that thought, a God Damned limo pulled to a stop at the curb.

“Shit on a stick,” muttered Officer Anthony Carver. “Looks like some of us are gonna be working crowd control.”

“Neighborhoods like this, the gawkers usually keep to their own houses,” Johnson sighed as the back door of the limo suddenly swung open.

Bored and ready to step forward if the new arrivals got too close, LaGuardi watched as a long, stunning pair of legs swung out, high heeled sandals finding quick purchase on the pavement. Always one to appreciate an attractive woman, he smirked a little he let his eyes continue up over her slim, toned form, clad in some light purple dress. He thought her striking face was familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it.

“Wow,” Kwantan breathed as a second pair of legs appeared, less graceful even wearing flat soled shoes and another woman basically popped out of the car, short dress flouncing but not offering a glimpse of anything naughty. She was far more petite than the first, but slightly curvier, with milky white skin and long, flowing brown hair.

LaGuardi wasn’t looking forward to turning them away, then the first of two men stepped out of the car and the officer jumped. _What the heck was Detective Esposito doing with two elegantly dressed women…and was that the author that was following Beckett around…Oh crap, the leggy chick was Beckett…then that would make…._

“That is some serious fuckedupness.”

LaGuardi and the other officers present all knew exactly what Kwantan was referring to, as everyone on the job had heard about what had happened to Detective Ryan. At first, the rank and file had hesitated to believe what sounded like science fiction, but as more and more members of the department saw the truth, word got around…at least amongst those on the job.

They were all still staring, becoming the gawkers they had previously derided, as Beckett ducked under the yellow and black crime scene tape and demanded, “What’ve we got?”

Yep, just like any other night…with a Twilight Zone twist.

* * *

The call had been a fairly routine one, made to look complicated by a panicky spouse trying to hide evidence of her crime. They’d only been at the SOC for a few minutes before they realized something was amiss at this suspected robbery/homicide. It was Beckett who found the hidden wall safe containing the supposedly stolen valuables and the rest of the wife’s story had quickly fallen apart.

After completing the paperwork (at least the stuff that wouldn’t keep until the morning), Castle (and the freakin’ huge limo his publisher had paid for him to use for the night) dropped Esposito and Kevin off at the former’s apartment (where Kevin was still staying, but a part of him was considering having someone in legal figure out how to deal with his apartment). He expected Beckett and Castle would continue their long, winding and non-productive cycle of flirting over coffee or maybe a late night dinner. Honestly, watching the two of them was like watching a TV program.

Javi’s apartment building was still and quiet at 2:30 am, most of the tenants deep into a good night’s sleep. It was the first time in several hours that the two of them had been alone, out of the overly observant presence of Beckett and Castle and, while he had been able to maintain a cool public façade (he hoped), Kevin was now feeling a little unsure about things.

I mean, what the hell? He and Javi had kissed! For real. And their close physical proximity during said kiss had let Kevin know exactly how into the kiss Javi had been. It was enough to shock and confuse the hell out of him.

Not that he was really confused about his own feelings, no, Kevin had long ago admitted to himself that he was attracted to his partner, that he loved him, maybe was a little bit in love with him, but he knew the score. Though equal opportunity, the NYPD was a paramilitary organization and had its share of less than open minded individuals. He knew Javi himself harbored no prejudice towards any particular person or group, but their working world wasn’t exactly conducive to admitting you were less than straight.

In fact, Kevin had never seen any sign to indicate Javi was anything but a 0 on the Kinsey Scale (he thought himself to come in at about a 2.5)… but, then again, he wasn’t exactly running around the station house wearing a pin with overlapping pink and blue triangles, was he? No, he was not.

Then, in the off chance Javi was on the same page as him emotionally, physically Kevin was still unsure about this new body. Sure, he’d done a little recon of his new form (anyone in his position would have) and he knew all the parts looked good, felt right…but they weren’t the parts he’d spent years learning.

The kiss had been really nice. It was a little odd being so much shorter than his partner, but that was definitely not off putting. Other things though…wow, he couldn’t even imagine how he’d be able to get this body to behave properly when inundated with hormones.

Hell, on the walk up the stairs, he tripped twice. Any sort of sex would probably result in broken bones and limitless shame.

By the time they reached the 7th floor, the stress of the long day had completely caught up with Kevin and he let Javi hold the door to the apartment open for him without comment. The air in the apartment was still and stifling as the air conditioner had been turned off that morning when they left for work. They’d thought to return after the book launch, but had been caught up at the office with the Huxley-Whitmore case and by the time the place cooled down it would probably be time to head out again.

It’d probably end up being a cold shower then sleep on top of the covers with the fan strategically aimed sort of night.

Lovely.

Neither of them spoke as they wandered into the kitchen, rooting around for little snacks before getting ready to turn in. Feeling wilted and worn out, Ryan dropped into a chair with a glass of milk in one hand and an uncooked hot dog slathered with cream cheese and tucked into a slice of Wonder bread in the other. Esposito took his seat, a handful of crackers, cheese cubes and pepperoni slices on a plate and blinked at Ryan.

“How have you not died of salmonella?” Javi sounded both mystified and a little awed.

Banter. This was familiar. “Bacteria flees from my immune system,” Ryan joked, then took a bite of his snack, then almost choked when this partner’s eyes followed the motion. Suddenly the hot dog did not seem like the best choice for a snack.

Placing the food down on the table, Ryan laid his hands flat on the surface, taking a deep breath as he regarded his small hands, delicate fingers and neat nails. Clearly female hands. But he was a guy. They weren’t the hands he expected to see when he reached for something

He knew he wasn’t the only one thrown for a loop by this whole, freaky situation and he knew he and Javi needed to have a talk, but he didn’t want to say that phrase aloud, ‘cause how much more chick flick could you get?

With a sigh, Kevin looked up at his partner, who was still watching him closely. Taking a bracing breath, he asked, “I think…what happened earlier…some clarification is needed.”

Javi began stacking cubes of cheese, making a little pyramid on his plate. “Clarification?”

“Yeah.” Damn this was hard. “Okay, so, at the moment, I’m obviously not quite myself right now…physically at least and it’s confusing and….”

Sitting up straight, hand tightening on the edge of the table, Javi cut him off. “You’re uncomfortable with the fact that we kissed.”

“It’s not that exactly,” Kevin said, trying to figure out how to say what was going on in his head. He really had no frame of reference for this.

“It’s cause I’m a guy, right?”

“No!” Ryan ran his hands through his hair in frustration and began to babble. “No, see, I’m a guy but I look like a woman and when I was a guy you saw me as a partner and a guy but now it’s partner and a girl but I hope at some point Creepy Elmer will be able to turn be back into a man and if something happens between us, I don’t want it to be all weird for you and screw up our partnership.”

Javi looked taken slightly aback by the sudden flow of words and paused a moment to sort through the jumbled speech. “So…you don’t have an issue with the fact that I’m a guy…and so are you. On the inside.”

“What? No, no, that’s never been a problem for me, but you know….”

“Not a problem for me either, bro.”

Kevin sat back in his chair and let out a little, “Huh.” Apparently he’d been stressing over a bit of a non-issue. He imagined his face must even more surprised and confused than Javi’s did. This was just never a conversation he pictured them having…well, not the part about him being a woman, at least temporarily.

“Yeah.”

They sat there for a moment in the silence of the apartment and Kevin took a sip of his milk, looking into the cup and wishing he’d grabbed a beer instead. From Javi’s expression, the same thought was running through his mind.

“Helluva day,” Javi commented with a small smile and Kevin chuckled softly in response.

“Seems to be ending on a high note though,” he said, glancing down at his small hand again before stretching it out, resting it on the table between them.

Javi laid his hand beside Kevin’s, touching baby finger to baby finger, not holding hands but just sharing contact.

It was nice.

No need to rush.

Besides, Kevin reflected, biting back a yawn that turned to laughter as Javi echoed it, it was too freakin’ late to even be considering anything more.

* * *

Sitting in his office, Roy Montgomery peered out through the blinds at the bustling squad room it was his duty to oversee. Beckett, Esposito and Ryan had caught a homicide two days earlier, solved it in good time and were in the process of doing the wrap up paperwork.

It was in these brief lulls between cases that Roy liked to observe his detectives (and the odd writer that had attached himself to Beckett). They joked easily, sometimes tossed Nerf toys at each other and ate random food that was brought up to the little break room.

At the moment, Esposito was looking across his desk at Ryan, who was jabbing one handed at his keyboard. The other hand was busy stuffing a powdered Jelly donut into his mouth. There was a look of fond affection on Esposito’s face and smears of jelly and sugar on Ryan’s. Sometimes Montgomery wondered if Ryan’s ‘Incident’ with the sex-change goo would give them a kick in the right direction.

Not that he was one to meddle in the lives of his people. Usually, he just pretended he’d never heard Lanie and a visiting Alexis whispering about how cute Ryan and Esposito were together. Both before and after the ‘Incident’. If Montgomery was the type to meddle, he’d have to agree.

Then there were Beckett and Castle, another pair that he knew enough to leave to their own devices. Unless they weren’t making any progress by thanksgiving, cause he’d picked this December in the ‘When are they going to hook up?’ pool Lanie was running.

All in all, things in his squad were running smoothly. Everyone seemed fairly sane and healthy. What more could he ask for?


End file.
